Thursday, 9 October 2008

News Alert From Japan

Latest Financial News from Tokyo:

The Origami Bank has folded, the Bank of Bonsai is trimming branches, the Sumo Bank has gone belly up, Kamikaze Bank has taken a nose dive, the Karaoke Bank has gone for a song, but the Ninja Bank is still in the black.

Plus there's something fishy going on at the Bank of Sushi...

18 comments:

TheDLOG said...

Brilliant I love it, can't stop laughing. You deff' have a brilliant sense of humour!!

SO you could now diversify and be a comedien on the box!!

heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!!!!!!!!!!!!

DLOG

Anonymous said...

DLOG as I am sure Rachel was just about to admit she took this from an email going round the Internet. Here is the text I got:

"Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up
and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it
was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a
song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they
nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is
reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore,
500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is
something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may
get a raw deal.
Tsunami Bank has been hit by a wave of bad debts, and it is understood
That the numbers at Sudoku Bank just don't add up. Satsuma Bank is apparently
going to be restructured by being broken up into smaller segments, and
rumour has it that Koi Bank has been netted by a major foreign competitor.
Meanwhile shares in Judo Bank have been thrown into turmoil and are likely
to hit the floor soon following an announcement from Hara-Kiri Bank that
it was going into voluntary liquidation. Management at Rickshaw Bank have
asked all the staff to pull together to get through this difficult time.
Plans for recapitalisation at Kimono Bank remain under wraps.
Further news as we get it."

C

TheDLOG said...

Wether Rachel was going to admit it or not it is still hillarious, thing is she got in first not you heehee!

DLOG

Rachel Elnaugh said...

Well thank you for that C!

As you can suspect I am currently on hols, and the content of my Blog was from a text received by my husband from a work colleague...

Unfortunately he does big software deals - in the banking sector!

You've got to laugh or else you cry.

Back to normality next week!

R

Rachel Elnaugh said...

hey DLOG synchronicty once again!

R

Stephen said...

ah... that's what they got traders doing now...

making poetry..

ha!

Anonymous said...

As Rachel knows being first isn't always best!

I got the email from an ex-colleague so clearly the city hasn't lost its sense of humour just yet (even though they've lost everything else!)

C

Stephen said...

even though they've lost us everything else!

TheDLOG said...

Absolutely Stephen, and another thing, the councils now stand to lose OUR money, through investing OUR money in banks, what a cheek when they put our council tax every year to, so they say, cover the rising costs, NO, to cover their extortianate bonus'.

And C, what is wrong in being first, you get the Gold Medal if you are first! Why settle for second best?

DLOG

Stephen said...

First come, first served

No good, if you are waiting for a Mac Donald's ~Happy Meal!

he

Anonymous said...

Isn't a MacDonald's Happy Meal an oxymoron? Best not to be in the queue at all I reckon.

I only said being first isn't always best. I'm not sure those guys who climbed out of the trenches in the first world war thought being first was such a great idea. The first to contract any disease is not a great claim to fame either!

Why, on planes, is the first class cabin at the front? First into the side of the mountain perhaps!

C

Stephen said...

I'm sure there are more apocalyptic names for banks in Japan - and given the source of the attack is always the US.

TheDLOG said...

C, "Why, on planes, is the first class cabin at the front? First into the side of the mountain perhaps!"

Does it make a lot of difference, wether you are at the front or not, apart from the cost, I mean if you flew into the mountain it is just a more expensive way to die!

Personnaly I'd rather not fly, that is why in 2006 I drove round europe plus 2 more weekend trips by car to Germany, and 2008 back to Germany by car.

And have to say me girls, (thats all 3, wife inclusive) don't want to do it any other way now. Such freedom, go where you want when you want no hassle, bliss!!

DLOG

Rachel Elnaugh said...

Statistically speaking the worst place to sit in the plane is the tail section; that is the bit most likely to break off/explode...

And McDonald Happy Meals do make my children happy - so its not such a bad name!

By the way, have you even had a McD's Veggie Burger? They're actually really nice - like a deep fried breadcrumb coated flat samosa.

R

TheDLOG said...

In the worst case senario, the worst place to sit in the plane is

'in the plane' period!

DLOG

Anonymous said...

A quick death by plane crash or a slow one by Happy Meal...

I prefer trains myself although it does annoy me that in the UK its often cheaper to fly than go by train.

C

TheDLOG said...

Well C, instead of getting a train or plane to Maccie D's, DRIVE to BURGER KING, that way you get there safely and you won't die slowly, heehee!

DLOG

Rachel Elnaugh said...

I do agree C, I love trains, its just that they can't decide whether they are buses or planes...

They charge much more than planes and I can't understand why, surely they're much cheaper to run and they always seem to have excess capacity; if you miss one you can get on the next one, but not if you've bought an advance ticket in which case you have to buy the whole thing all over again - even where all the seats around you are empty - even when you want to get an EARLIER train.

I witnessed a near punch up on the 1st class carriage where some ticket woman was threatening to throw this guy off the train if he didn't pay the 1st class fare all over again... There were only a handful of us on the carriage too. Would have been so much easier for her to say 'as the train's not full I'll let you off this time Sir', instead of being a jobsworth about it.

R