Monday, 18 May 2009

"It doesn't hurt to say no"

Actually yes it DOES hurt.

A flat & automatic NO suggests a few things:

Firstly, arrogance that you are better/busier/more in demand than the person asking.

Secondly, that you're not willing to negotiate under any circumstances - either now or in the future.

Thirdly, that you're a pretty rude person to be with/deal with.

And that's all very fine, except when it happens one too many times or with even just a few influential people or when your star starts to fade or simply when you wish to avoid Bad Karma.

And especially when you preach about the importance of 'Tribes' and 'Leadership'.

I saw the brilliantly charismatic social entrepreneur Tim Smit (founder of the Eden Project) speak at the Institute of Directors a week or so ago and he said that he ALWAYS accepts every third invitation. And as a result has found himself judging vegetables at a country show & speaking at a WI meeting as well as all the high powered events. Keeps him grounded apparently.

Yep we're ALL busy busy busy, but my advice would be: leave some space in your life & diary & heart to practice saying YES just once in a while.

Especially when it is to your biggest UK fan, who has so far sold thousands of copies of your books for you via raving about you to every entrepreneur she meets/speaks to at events - and who has just launched an events division and has invited you to come speak in London.

If you're wondering what the hell I'm on about, see Seth Godin's latest blog post "It doesn't hurt to ask".

Evidence a certain person has just lost sight of who is the customer.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES,

Just let me know when :-)

thedlog

Stephen said...

Yea, i'm with you on this Rachel.

What these guys don't realise is they eat, sleep and s*** the same way as everybody else. And no doubt make the same kind of mess after they're dead.

If you want something... ask! I don't believe in crawling around after someones arse.

Especially when its some jumped up little baldy head!

Mr C said...

Not sure I agree totally with you on this one. I agree there is no harm asking but you shouldn't do so with an expectation of yes being the answer. There is an arrogance in the expectation if you ask me.

Why should Seth give up his time to enable you to make money? Isn't it arrogant to assume he should?

C

Rachel Elnaugh said...

Don't be naive Mr C, I was offering to act as his promoter, he would have made £££ if the last London event was anything to go by plus I thought he was undersold.

R

Mr C said...

Sorry my mistake, I hadn't realised that your primary motivation was to make Seth richer. How selfless of you and what a total idiot he is for turning you down.

As for underselling himself in London I agree but have you considered that he may have priced himself at a point to enable people less well off than you and me to attend? Given he's a marketing guru one might credit him with some pricing intelligence don't you think.

C

Stephen said...

I think you must have missed Rachels point about her banging the drum for Seth, Mr C.

There is such a thing as gratitude, but it has been my experience that this is in limited supply these days.

Its all rats and ladders these days.

Anonymous said...

I would have thought any publicity is good publicity, well, depending I suppose what the publicity is, but the Rachel/Seth scenario would it not be good publicity for Seth. But then again maybe he is in some sort elite class that he doesn't need it!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Rachel, there are lots NICE high profile people out there that would love to accept your offer, I mean look at Tim Smit, he's probably more entertaining as well

thedlog

Mr C said...

Stephen

I am sure that Seth is grateful for any promotion of his work but that doesn't mean he owes anybody anything. If I say DLOG is a nice chap it doesn't oblige him to do some printing for free.

Rachel's indignation at Seth's refusal to play ball has more to do with her own pride and desire to make money on the back of him than any ingratitude from Seth.

C

Mr C said...

DLOG

I think the very fact that Seth priced his London tickets at an affordable level suggests he is not pitching at the elite. After all you went did you not?

C

Stephen said...

yea, your probably right Mr C.

Rachel stop being precocious!!

That arrogant American doesn't want to play ball...


lol

Anonymous said...

Actually NO, I did not go Mr C, tickets were a bit pricey for me anyway.

I do believe though that Seth is arrogant, he thinks he can do it all on his own, and to some point is now becoming complacent, bad move as far as I am concerned, you NEVER forget how you got to where you got to, NEVER forget where you came from, remember those who helped you on your path to greatness. But it does appear that Seth HAS forgotten. Like so many others out there, who claim to remember, but when asked for something............

thedlog

Hani said...

Following on from Jeremy Gilley's wonderful 'Peace one day' charity, perhaps we could also have a 'Leave the ego at home day' charity where money is raised or skills offered to all those entrepreneurial, hard working, exceptional people who devote their time to helping others. You never know, 'leave the ego at home day' could even be increased to a whole week!

Anonymous said...

I just bought Seth Godin's book purple cow because Rachel recommended it at her masterclass. About Rachel making money off Seth Godin's back.....No man can become a success without taking others along with him. Rachel certainly wasn't asking for a free ride from Seth. It takes 2 to propel success to further heights. Seth Godin's loss, as far as I can see it.

Anonymous said...

"No man/woman can become a success without taking others along with him...or her

Sorry to edit it a little to include women :-)

Absolutely, could not agree more, that is the pint I was trying to make in my previous comment. We must NEVER lose sight or forget how we became.......

thedlog

Stephen said...

As the great Sex Pistols used to say:

NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS!

May the best man (or woman) win at this greatest illusion - we call life!

lol

Mr A Dragon said...

"Don't be naive Mr C, I was offering to act as his promoter"

I am afraid I agree with Mr C.

If you have the right to propose something to Seth, he has the right to say no, end of..

Surely thats the life of a business person, some you win some you lose, move on to the next thing.

Bob

Anonymous said...

Stephen, no wonder you're not interested in getting down from your own pulpit and would rather pontificate and rejoice whilst the ship sinks.

lol.

Anonymous said...

There are several ways to say NO, here are 2, arrogantly and nicely

thedlog

Stephen said...

yea, let the ship sink (anonymous). We'll make a new one and this time we'll leave the rats on the shore.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, never forget where you come from. Behind every great man is an even greater woman. Usually his wife! So remember the ones who helped and supported you along the way.
dlog, we are all dying to know, did Rachel say yes?

Anonymous said...

Nah, but then I don't have anything to offer anyway, I'm just a humble printer.

thedlog

Anonymous said...

Humble is good; it's not about the money, It's about the person, honesty and integrity. I'm sure Rachel would agree with me, you must have something to offer.

Anyway are you on the market, I could make room for a humble printer; are you fit?

Anonymous said...

Just to clarify - I am the Anonymous who suggested that this whole thing is Seth's loss and that we need each other to succeed. I am also the Anonymous who is considering that ship project with Stephen.

I am NOT the Anonymous one that just made a pass at you....my husband would kill me if I did that!!!!!!

Mr A Dragon

We now have a ship building project, an almost marriage proposal and maybe a budding romance.....I think this pretty much shows that Rachel has moved on??? Also, about winning some and losing some, well, Seth's "no" also resulted in his own loss.

Anonymous said...

It's getting like a dating site on here - heehee

thedlog

Mr A Dragon said...

"Mr A Dragon

We now have a ship building project, an almost marriage proposal and maybe a budding romance.....I think this pretty much shows that Rachel has moved on??? Also, about winning some and losing some, well, Seth's "no" also resulted in his own loss."

That may be the case..

Also, call me "Bob" and dont be anonymous, tell us who you are, you sound cute..

Love and Kisses

Bob

Anonymous said...

On no...please don't, Bob...you know very well I couldn't...

Soft giggles
Eyes fluttering.....

A1

Rachel Elnaugh said...

Once again the fairytale creatures have taken over the swamp!

Rachel